What kind of games do narcissists play

That's it! No spam. If you'd like to stay in touch, click below to sign up. You have to pay attention to the dating behaviors your romantic interest exhibits.

The Spontaneity Game A narcissist will test your boundaries. BIG mistake! He was just testing how far he can push me. Turns out, pretty far. The Commitment-Phobia Game The narcissist will often pose as a commitment-phobe.

Comments Thanks for educating. Thank you God bless you. Thanks so much, Parveen! Education can be incredibly liberating. Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. I thought I was too naive or straight laced. My partner has a lot of the traits of a narcissist. He had a stroke two years ago and my life is a living hell.

He is nasty and mean. Silent treatment always. No money. And anyway he refused to go. I have just fallen victim to a narcissist — he spent two weeks playing with me and coming onto me only to back out at the last moment with no explanation and no responses to my questions at all.

Having read this stuff I now recognise that so much of what he has been doing and his personality is classic of this type. His lack of empathy for others, over confidence and sexual manipulation amongst other things — all make sense now. I was so taken in too. I have chosen not to play and will not play! Thank goodness I know a very wise lady that spotted his personality type and told me to research. I am from a family of them. I want to heal from these latest attacks and become a strong person that i was meant to be.

I feel so much for all of you who have a narcissist in your life. I have a mom who is this way. I have tried to walk away but always seems we keep trying with them waiting for them to show they love us. But it never comes. It never will. She always jabs me and puts me down. I always feel so bad after I call her.

For you see I do all the calling always have. I wish I could walk away for good I know I can. Why is it so important to have their approval as their children. I have so much despise for her. She is 78 and has no one. She is horrible. I sympathize with all of you! It hurts! We can never have closure because they are perfect.

We are always wrong. Everyone else is to them, so they say while we always end up feeling worthless. Mary you are most definately good enough. You are deeply caring and loving.. Its not that she doesnt love you its she cant love you…she has never been shown it at the age the brain develops empathy and knowing we are loved.

If you read what you wrote back to yourself and change the name of the poster to say…Sonia ask yourself.. Of course not. Im certain someone as loving as you has many friends and associates who love and care for your heartxxx good luck mary. Sonia, Yours is the first post that has written anything close to sympythy for the N. I still am very much in love with him, and I miss him terribly.

The first opportunity he had to move out, he did. In addition to his NPD, I fear he has even more instabilities. I worry and care aabout him, but my care-taking of this man has made me physically ill, and has financially ruined me. No-one has addresses the spiritual aspects of this type of person. If anyone else has similar thoughts or feelings, I hope they choose to share.

I know exactly what you mean. My mom I think had histrionic personality disorder or was possibly narcissistic. But my brother definitely has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He treated me like garbage. He never liked me. He would say if I really wanted his help, he would help me, but when I tried to ask him a question, he would get angry and refuse to help me.

NEVER him. Nothing else. So I found out I was not alone… Parents provided a trust for me and him — separate ones thank god!!! I can take care of myself and screw him. But when he became a lawyer, he changed and treated me very badly. Abandoned me emotionally. I doubt trying to tell him how he made me feel, I doubt he feels even the least bit upset… He just puts on a show with his histrionics when you try to confront him about his behavior, and he shuts down.

Time to make MY life feel better. I loved, lived with and worked for the same narcissist for almost a decade. I recognize every game on this list very well, unfortunately. These games left my sanity on the breach, my sense of self worth shattered. I spent all my time trying to figure out what I could do to make things better, how I could be a better and more desirable person. I have spent years confused and blaming myself for the slightest wrongs while pouring my life into his business.

Now after almost a year of being split from him I am homeless, jobless and carless trying to pick up what is left of my sense of self-worth and accomplishment. I do know these are all my problems in the end, I can not blame him for my mistakes. Still, I wish I had found the information on this website 10 years ago. Jamie I went through the same exact thing exactly I have no car either it has been three years since we split I still have the car my life has been horrendous since we should talk.

Yes very good comments from everyone, I can see my wife in and through them. They truly are evil people and will tear you to shreds if you are unfortunate enough to get tangled up with one. Your kids will learn the truth about your wife sooner or later. Hyde eventually….. Classic narcissist game. Or just refuse to give it to you from the get go. YEP YEP YEP, upto the point where you are thrown out your home, dismissed during the first days of a holiday or even better; have the holiday annulled 2 days before flying!!!!!

I live and lived it for over 4 years!!! I agree this is classic pull the rug out. I have experienced the same. An ex invited me to visit him in Florida and said he has more money now and will help sending half rhe money for a plane ticket. I said I would enjoy a nice visit with hum. Never heard back and it has been 2 weeks. He loves to play games and I never could understand why but realized it is toxic and it is really a sign of resentment.

He us a true narcissist and his behavior is just plain cruel. He never treated me this way and I was with him for 23 years. I never married him or had children with him but he would have but I knew he had something not right that made me nit trust him. Once you Catch on to this game, it is so predictable. We are now 10 years divorced but I could predict a fight just before every family gathering or work function. Every time you looked forward to something, it was ammo to her to make sure she ruined it for me.

She threatened to make a scene at my company Christmas party! She signed our son up for a half marathon but provided no coaching, no hydration, no training. She ran it too and instead of praising him for completing it, she laughed at him for being beaten by his mother. But, he is starting to see her for what she is and said that he knew she was going to say that. Good for you son… Let the healing begin. So sorry you had to endure this, I just had to comment and say how familiar that your stories were.

Promising to help our children with something and then not doing it or he would do it and tell them everything they did wrong. Ughhhh these people. Life is so much better now for all of us that get and stay away! OMG, yes! My husband has played this game for years. I have asked for things that cost little or NO money: time together, movie date, etc.

I did not know what to say cause it was such a shock to see these weird items bought by my Narc…. I felt utterly ridiculed, which off course was the objective. It made me hate christmas and only this year, in his absence I had a wonderful birthday amongst great friends, it was bliss!

Was asked what I wanted for birthday. Said a dinner at a restaurant I chose and he said fine. I offered to pay for my own and he said no. He took me anyway and said I was right to chose that place and offered appetizer and dessert after saying no and it was not affordable.

I wanted to never see him again. He was so cruel on my birthday. It is a sickness of the mind and heart with no awareness or empathy or care. This might merit being added to the big list.

My brother does that to his wife. They have both done it to, and for me. We recently became the targets of our N neighbour from next door. Obviously we tried to counter this by speaking to the real estate agent and calling the cops for intimidation and deliberate noise threats.

It all failed with her turning this around in her favour and we eventually thought it too much to deal with and have started to look for another place.. The question that keeps running through my mind is whether we could have turned this situation around? Would she get bored and target someone else altogether?

Its an issue because at our last place of residence a similar sort of thing happened and we had to move. Now this is happening again I neee to find out how to avoid becoming targeted at our next place of residence? Thanks in advance for the replies. Thanks a lot for the post. Nothing is smooth with him, neither living with him nor the divorce. He almost ruined my life, playing almost all the games beautifully described in this post.

He is threatening me to contact him directly, but the good thing I did was , I have continuously refused to contact him and maintaining it for more than one year now. Please learn everything you can about narcissism…. And use your skills to help victims recognize these people …. He took me to court to try to gain overnight visits with the baby and week on week off with my eldest whom I raised on my own for 7 years, he lied in court he insulted belittled and humiliated me my friends and family, I try to ignore him as best as possible but he is still playing mind games and still blames me for everything nothing seems to work, I find when he is bored is when he is at his worst!

My mother is a Narcissist. She is so controlling. She lies. She manipulates. She threatens to disinherit me all the time, she is 80 yrs of age and acts like a young child with temper and the most awful rage. I am actually afraid of her because her behaviour is so unpredictable and I never know what is going to set her off on one of her rages.

She shouts and swears and calls me the most awful names. She has even threatened to hit me! And she told my husband and my son that I was the crazy one! When I speak she says shhhh!

As if what I have to say is of no importance. She has to be the centre of attention. She is so spiteful and nasty. She had so many negative qualities. She has terrible manners, is so rude to people. I actually feel that she is a good role model as whatever she does I do the exact opposite. I am good and kind and honest. I see now that trying to point out her rudeness, her lying and her unacceptable behaviour is a total waste of time.

She will never admit her faults, she will never apologise. She makes things up and twists my words. I am not going to play her games any longer. I will keep things superficial, and try not to be in her co any when no one else is there.

It is so good to hear about all the other people with a Narcissist in their life, I feel sorry for us all, but at least we are not alone! We can help and support each other. After just over 2 years i have hopefully, finally ended this dreadful experience. I have never met somebody so twisted in all my life.

It took me a while to figure out, infact it was after months of discarding and devaluing which made me start my research. My ex loved playing with my feelings, would never apologize for purposely hurting me, never took responsibility for her wrong actions and would never show appreciation for me and the good i did for her and her son. She would belittle me infront of her son, she would disrespect me infront of her family.

I am just so pleased that i kept my cool throughout all the abuse. There came a time when she flaunted her new supply to me. This is the level she works at. She brought him to my attention, he called a few times when i was there, so obvious she was confiding in him about us. I could see she had a few faces, such a devil with me but such an angel with others. All men mind, never close with other women. I knew it was over, i told her a few home truths and we split. A month later we find out she is pregnant, i foolishly thought that this would change things for the better, i was so wrong.

The abuse worsened. It got so bad that i recommended a termination. It was like Satan was carrying this child. I can remember when we was in the hospital, her Supply called her yes the same one she was so polite and respectful.

If only i had the same treatment. It was so painful for me. Even going so far as to tell me she would find a replacement father. We argued in the hospital and she asked me to leave, i soon learnt that her Supply visited her also. She was so evil. I now know that God saved me, it sounds horrible but she lost the baby at 8 weeks pregnant.

No way was this allowed to happen. The abuse continued, so many things happened. I knew it was over but i was still there for her because she had suffered a miscarrige. Anyway one day she flips out and tells me not to contact her again or she will call the police. I called her 2 weeks later and she put the phone down on me and threatend me again. This was something i have never experienced, the pain was too much, i lost weight and i found it so hard.

Now i started getting some answers. It was a battle and a half. The fact that i never had an explanation killed me. Who can be this evil? What did i do? What was this really about? Did one of her Supplies disappoint her?

Back to the pushover. It proved to be my biggest mistake by letting her back into my life. Weeks after making contact with me i found myself helping her and her family with a serious court case. I admit i was helping more for her mum than my ex. I never trusted her and i was in 2 minds. Does she really respect me this time or is she just using me. The court case was very difficult and i guess i wanted out. May i just add that we never slept together, we could have but my interest was completely done.

The trust was non existent. My ex told me about this guy that brought her son an iPhone, showed me some pictures that her Supply took of her abit inappropriate but that was the excuse i needed to call it a day.

I told her that if this guy cares enough to buy her son an iPhone, then he can help her family with the court case. I also contacted her Supply, i just wanted him to know that i was well aware of his friendship and how inappropriate some things were. I just had enough, i was just so angry that she would continue to hurt me and play games after all she did before.

I recieve a threatening message from one of her Supplies. Telling me to stop sending her messages or there will be a problem. That was my wake up call. She will never change and she is a very dangerous person. Did i mean anything to her? The fact that she would rather see me in serious conflict rather than take responsibility for her wrong doings, tells me that she is not somebody worth knowing.

What a fool i am? So yes i was threatened by of her Supplies. She is an expert manipulator, she is good. A few weeks ago her son contacted me via Facebook, i was very suspicious of this but i replied. It was very brief but i wished him all the best and told him to stay out of trouble. A few days later his mum texts me threatening me to stay away from her family or she will report me.

I just pray that she and her Supplies stay away from me. I personally think her Supplies are very stupid, i can imagine them falling for her sob story.

All the time she was the abuser. I know i have said alot, this is my experience. Who knows if her Supplies are waiting patiently. She knows where i live and i hate that, i am looking to move when i have the fines.

What an experience and i waste of 2 years. To all victims of Narcassist Abuse, remember you are not alone. I wish each and every one of you all the best, on your road to recovery. Save your soul. Miles, all I have to do is cut and paste your every word!!

I fully understand everything that you are saying? I Hope you get this message and that we could talk at some point. Been there done that??? My husband of 8yrs just walked out of our 14yr relationship 2 weeks before xmas and we lost our only child earlier the same year.

Needless to say I was shocked. While in hospital he was utterly there for me. I always knew he was a bit immature and looked past it. When he left he turned full blame mode. Brought every single thing up from the past, apparently he was living in turmoil for the past few years.

Mind you the night before he walks out he went by some friends and said he couldnt be happier. Well xmas day I got a loving text from him. Very sweet…. He started an affair with a new coworker.. Never admitted it. I was still to blame. Said he never wanted our son to me and others and then turns right around saying he never said that.

Files for divorce a month later. After saying he would still be there for me, would rather settle without lawyers yeh right, saw one straight away. He proceeded to stop paying the mortgage on the new house we bought months before expecting our son.

Then when I confronted him on it said he never said that. I didnt sleep for months, dropped 10lbs within about 2 weeks then more after I was already about lbs before. I threw up breakfast to the point I ate later in the day. I almost lost my mind believing it was me that was wrong and cause him to leave despite being told by those around me no. I did every possible thing to save my marriage. I fought so hard for my marriage cause I believe in it deeply. Further and further into an isolated corner…and then the Dumps began.

All alone, begging him to come back, to talk to me…to see me. Kathleen, Narcissists are amazing at isolating their victims from other people. They hate it if there are two people in their vicinity talking, and they are not a part of the conversation. They think the 2 people are talking about the narcissist and all their evil exploits.

Take heart, because narcissists are master manipulators. This person groomed you into the perfect toy for his machinations. You are not at fault for morphing into the type of person that he wanted you to be. This is a result of grooming. Narcissists always want someone to be doting on their every command. They want you to anticipate their needs at every turn and corner.

You get so used to servicing them that you lose your sense of identity. Narcissists are so sick that when you ignore them, they make it your fault. They want you to come back and be good to them, when they are the evil one. How does this make sense: I was bad to you, so come back and be nice to me.

My narcissist took everything from me over 12 years. My house, my job, my car, my children, my self confidence. He continues to do his utmost to hurt me and break me even though we are in the middle of a divorce and living separately for 5 months now.

He lied to me about soooo many things. Because the problem was always mine, each and every time. When we separated, he changed his mind 11 times in 6 months and each time had me considering coming back. Until the day he told me he had cheated on me with a young trainee we worked with, under my nose.

I had also suspected this and asked him several times but he always told me I was just jealous or imagining things, he was only helping out this poor young girl, had I no heart?! I ended up with zero friends of my own not up to his standards , the only people we ever saw were his family who hold him on a pedestal and the conversation was always all about him. Nothing I did was ever enough. He still tries to hurt me. He is really very stubborn in that department.

Lies to our children about me, but even they are now coping on to him. I was devastated at first and thought that my life was over. Now, I see my life is just beginning. I am out of the spiders web and I look forward to finding myself a little bit more every day. I am still shocked that he was such a narcissist and I never spotted it. But now I am standing up to him and he does not like it one bit.

Cognitive Heights is not intended as therapy or medical advice. If you feel suicidal or depressed, please reach out and contact friends and family, or a professional.

Check out this list of hotlines to contact if you need to reach out. This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience possible. Narcissists prioritize power over intimacy. They loathe vulnerability, which they consider weakness. To maintain control, they avoid closeness and prefer dominance and superiority over others.

Game-playing allows them to both get their needs met and keep their options open to flirt or date multiple partners. Breakups are especially hard during the romantic phase when passions are strong. Being dropped after love-bombing can leave discarded partners in shock.

They feel confused, crushed, and betrayed. Eventually, they must look elsewhere for their narcissistic supply. While it may be difficult to treat for antisocial personality disorder ASPD , there are ways to learn to manage its symptoms.

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